When I first encountered this phrase it was on my ex’s Facebook relationship status. Needless to say, months later our relationship was over but at that time, taken off guard, I was puzzled both by the fact that she selected that status and also the fact that Facebook offered that seemingly redundant option. After all, seriously, for whom was this status made for? For the people who honestly weren’t sure is their relationship was official or for the pretentious and pompous idiots who do not wish to condescend to their peers to explain the terms of their dramatically stressful relationship? With all due respect for my peers who have chosen this option, I assume it is the latter. Either way, I find this option to be embarrassingly immature and juvenile; I would expect this nonsense from MySpace but not Facebook.
And then the there is the movie of the same name that just came out yesterday, which I saw with a pervious curiosity of what a cinematic portrayal of what something I have experienced might be like. I am referring of course to the caption on the billboards that reads “Divorced…with benefits”. Knowing already that, despite this being a seemingly brilliant idea it is not possible for any significant length of time, I thought it would be a lighthearted film with a bittersweet truth, much like “500 Days of Summer” to some degree. And it was, for me at least. Meryl Streep’s performance was outstanding as usual and the ending was (warning: content spoiler ahead) fitting as I assumed that no long term reconciliation would occur between the divorced couple. This film strikes a certain ambivalence within my heart; on one hand there is the bitter truth and a forceful acceptance of the smoldering love one must walk away from, and on the other there is a gleaming hope of what will be and the excitement of finding out what that will be. Perhaps a “Hi, my name is Autumn.”
No matter what your experiences have taught you about relationships, you’ll likely be entertained at the least with “It’s Complicated” and in regards to those who think that their relationships are complicated, you are probably right but really, what relationship isn’t complicated? Like Lady GaGa says “When it’s love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun”, and if you think your relationship is more complex than the rest of ours are, seriously, relax on the drama and step down from that movie screen. And if your relationship status is as complicated as you think it is, why are you involved with it? Cause truth be told, life is too mothafuckin short to be dealing with some complicated bullshit and really, it doesn’t have to be so complicated.
Don’t stop. Keep on.
I can run 400 miles away and think that I’m free, but still, the memory of you still follows me.
“i know you’re hurting….”Theresa, I couldn’t agree with you more. You’re advise is practical, logical and wise. Loi, you’re lucky to have a friend like Theresa who’ll tell you what you’re not seeing. Like her, I can judge how well (or unwell) you’re doing by how much you’ve been focusing on her and you will remain unhappy as long as your eyes are fixed on her. Dust it off your shoulder and look forward, man. Find inner strength you never knew you had. To quote the movie Spider-Man, “These are the years a young man becomes the man he is going to be for the rest of his life”, now do you want to be the sucker or the survivor, the nice guy or the winner, the one left in the dust or the trail blazer? I think deep down you know what you should do and I pray that you find the inner strength to follow through. You’ve got friends who are here for you bro so no need for girls’ wicked games.
Live free. Stay Strong.
Dont stop. Keep on.
Sunday: December 13, 2009, 12:00PM
I suffer from chronic pain. Two kinds. I’m not sure which one brings the tears to my eyes but I take a pill when it hurts too much and it seems to help both kinds. Temporary sedative. A little bit of oblivion. Medication and self-medication.
Song of the day: I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones
*Yin (Mandarin) – moon, shade, female element.
Theresa Nguyen is a young heart full of passion, hope and optimism. She is a joyful noise that has recently broken its silence and come out of its quiet shell. She is a girl who still believes in love, peace and harmony. A day dreamer and a daydreamer. A girl who calls herself lame although she’s cooler than most kids. A girl with Van’s on her feet, a charm on her phone, a mustache on her finger, a jellyfish on he hand and a smile on her face. Someone I share happy/sad day with. Someone who has lost her father but since then has made him proud. A truly kind and caring individual – Hands down, the sweetest kid I’ve ever met. The best friend of Jessica La and many others. The kind of friend that makes people who aren’t her friend wish that they had a friend like her. A girl who loves her family and friends and loves to blog about them constantly. Whenever life throws an obstacle her way, instead of hanging her head, she simply looks up, smiles, and says “Tee-Hee”, that’s her Hakuna-mutata, and I admire her resilience. This girl’s name is Theresa Nguyen and in a world filled with darkness, she is a flickering candle with a promising future to eternally shine.
Don’t stop. Keep on.
It’s been twenty days since the Doc ripped me open and a hundred and three since she did, but I’ve been recovering okay.
I arrived at Kaiser at dawn; nervousness made me get goose bumps but I blamed it on the cold morning breeze. “Six hours of surgery!” I thought, “Dam!” It wasn’t long until a nurse had me lay down on a bed, not the way I’ve always imagined, but hey, at least it wasn’t a guy. Pretty soon they sedated me and within minutes I was knock me out. The room dimmed and the lights went out.
Tuesday afternoon the lights go back on. I stare at the ceiling for a few hours, agonizing in delirium, waiting for a visitor or at least something to happen. My Doc finally walks in and says the same thing he’s been saying to me ever since that moment, “How’s our hero doing?” “???, Hero? Did I cheat death again?” I thought. He then explained to me all the complications involved with my surgery. Apparently, my six hour surgery turned out to be a twenty-two hour one. And, just like my last relationship, I somehow made it out alive. I’ve never been a stranger to danger so it’s nothing new to me.
Friday afternoon (Black Friday) I tell my doctor that I’m ready to go home and to my surprise he says okay. Against hospital orders I drive home from the hospital and then unwisely decide to go buy a digital camera from Best Buy. Now, keep in mind, I can barely walk because of the muscle and tendon that was taken out of my leg and am also in agonizing pain, but still, somehow, the Nikon CoolPix was worth it.
Everybody’s asks me about my arm. I tell them how it looks like Chucky in his last movie. I thought my body had scars before, ha! I really don’t stress about scars like I used to though, or about how I live singlehandedly. Everybody else makes such a big deal about it than me, they say “Dude, you learned to write and do everything else with your left arm? That’s crazy!” Not to me. You do what you’ve got to do to survive, that’s all. Another question people ask me is “What’s the biggest thing that’s changed for me since my accident in high school?” Automatically, I might feel like saying – living with pain, but I take a step back and consider a more optimistic approach and say “outlook”. And it’s true. I value things differently than I did in high school. You know, I could easily say “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”. But instead I say, “Sometimes, the best thing to do is just move on”.
…and that’s what I’m doing.
Movin on and on…
Don’t Stop. Keep on.